The Legend of Swaggerstar
by fuji-rakki
Summary: (This is a crackfic, so you'd have to be pretty dumb to take it seriously. Purposefully harsh reviews are totally welcome.) Unday, a cut nam Swajerkut is bone! Wen he is bord, tere ois a profesy! "During the darkst hr, olny the swagiest of al wal save us." WHo could posbly fufl tehe porpoise? (WARNING: MAY CAUSE BRAIN CELL LOSS.)
1. Chapatr 1

**CHaper On: Apenticship**

 **Swaggerikt woked upd. Next to him, Llamakiit, is broter,lay aseep.**

 **He was an kit of SwaggCaln. SwagClan was the best caln in tehf orst! His mother, Awesomemom, was a;redy aaaawak. "HOOney, wake ohp," She sauyd. "Tod is ted aye that u becum ant aprintic" Sweggerkit went oustid and saw that tere ladder, Bossstar, was aredy up on teh rorc. "Swagit, you are abut to became an apentice of Swagcalnt. You r now swagepow, and ur mentor is Textabbreviation.**

 **Llamait, u are naow llamapoaw. Ur mentor iss Bifpoof. Bigpoof is a vry fulfly kat. His parants wernt even sure if he was an cat at first! Bosstar rinned. "hlo, Swegpaw. Im Textabbreviation. Im ur mentor." Testabreviation was always on her phone and as a result, forgot the native cat language and learned text abbreviating (Ironically, her name was already Textpaw in the first place). Her brother?**

 **THE TEMMIE.**

 **He was this strange and mental cat monster that never participates in hunting or border patrols, constantly misplaces his face, and has this strange addiction for…..human food….?**

 **Yeah. It's THAT weird.**

 **Actually, nobody was ever aware of his existence until September of 2015, and even then, nobody actually paid him any mind until the day he burst through the nursery wall, looking for his face, which was later found underneath some very sleepy (and very startled) kits.**

 **Anyways, Lliamakit was assigned to…. Tsunderecat, the Tsundere-est cat in the forst!**

" **Why train?" Llamakit asked.**

" **NUUU! Y-you do what I SAY!" T-Cat yelled kawaiily. She made spakle eeys and tt hey had to agree.**

" **Well," Said Coolshades, Swaggerpoo's dad, "We could always do, idk, HUNTI-I mean, hunting, yo." They didn't have a gender, simply because they were just to cool to have one.**

 **Txtabbreviation said, "Of COURSE! Y didnt I thnk of that before!?" So they went huntig. Swaggerpaw found a mouse, but the mose raned awal. He latter fopund a squirrel, and caught it with the hunting trick he saw on the TV that totally wasn't in the middle of dirtplace. Tasabrevaton cuntragulated him and they contidued hutnig. Latter, when they mad it bacj to comp, Bosstar wasx standid in the medle of camp! "I has announcement!, He saidj, "We are under attack!" "From whoen?" Asxked Dogetail. He was cool.**

" **EPICCLAN1!1!11!1!" Bosstare yeldullded. "SO…we wall attack at once! Awesomemem, Tsunderecutsz, Fishheart, Shoepelt…." Swalderpaow helt his and waitedd. "…..Swagderstpaw and lliama paw." Swaggerpax locks and lama poop and smeled haply. "We get to got ot uff camp!11!1!111!" Llamapaoow sad. Heh was happy. And so, the cllina set off for EpicClan's awesome tertry.**


	2. Chaper 2

**CpAtor tewOwne**

 **Omg su I git som bade rvew lats chaper an I dun thank tehey rwir bery nloice. pLS olny cunstructif crugtisim=sims! (Is listening to megalovania while writin thisa!)**

 **Swaggerpaw lopped into comp1 Heh was su exited to be watt uff capm!1!1!111!11!1111! He and loofahpaw galnch'd ate choter.**

" **Soh wat du we du naow?" Axed Llama pas.**

" **Weh ned to gonwit the pateral!" Sauced swagepoo. Ant so they lofkt.**

 **Latter, they hade cersed ze bordah. They were in EpicClan's fine territory! A moss runad in fornt of them. Buhtut they caldn cak it. Bcauce it vwass inEpicalnss fine teritree. Shoopelt traped on a bramble andt let out a yallip. "EEPACALAN, ATAK!1!11!111!11!"**

" **Aw naw, wernt unther athack!" Fishhaert scarmbled. Heh lamped ate a balk tame. Shoepalt went after a purple sehcate." Swagepaaaaap and lamepaw lapes at a wite shemale. Seh lcocked at tem in surpass bovore lunkin at them! "Gay of or terrty!" She shorted, befor clawking lameapawp In tegeh mozzl! Swagepaw was mad so heh lawed and biyted her! She yoled and raen of into ther forest. A balik tam and a borwn tom went ate tehm but tehey weret ready. They stiod sid by sidea and locked at tehm wile cawing them. Snudley, a giant bork tom laced at them. Hes narm wass bouncerclaw and hehe hade balakc spats an his eyes so heh hade sads. The tom raisen a poo and stareted to attakes lamapaw! Btut, juts tham, Awesomemam was that=tre! She gate in the wah of him, and then,…..**

" **NOPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" SWAGSpoow shoted! Llama shitted as well and they broth rain overft tp them! " MOM NOOOOO Shouted swagerpaw.n "mom…don't die…" Llama paw whispered, tars rolinge sillintly dawn his cram collored checks. "Swagcaln, retart!" bOSStar yalleded . "ill safe you!" colsadhes said. Heh wass a mediseen cate aprenticks. Evn tgo carts weren't hafe cits he was speckal bcaz Awesomeom alrady had hare kits in the stomake. They rashed bake to computery qnd then asseomom want into wthe medicane cak denw. Afert a moment, Bobhart came ot of his dan. "Aim sory….butt shes gon."**


	3. Caper tree

**(Okay, time to respond to a review. Like, just one.**

 **Thanks for the kind words! This is kinda a Starkit clone, but with more 'mlg' aspects to it. The cringier the better, I guess!)**

Dapper Three:

Ukas so sory it tuk so langwhich I was bussy wit skole, alaso the ideas wernt cumin toe memes. SO hers the neck cahspetrserts. Hers the necksusms chapsert.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" YELLed swaggerpaw! 'MOM NO' said lammapoop 'NI AWESMAIMER!1!111!11!" Shads wliked aoutsuf the darm!11!1111!1!11111!11 "UGH NO I HAEIT MAI LAIF" Lama pawpsissle waked into his derpn! "Wiat llamapoo! Cum bake!" Sigarpapeing sads. Biat lamapowp wass1 \ alreddy gon!


	4. Dappersex: lama teh emu!

**Okay, Venomheart, thank you for telling me, I'll be sure to write normal chapters now!**

 **Anyways, since my new laptop won't be here for about a week, so I'm going to write the next chapter by memory.**

Then, lamepoo cam ot of the dam. Olny noo, heh wass weain...ball!

"lumpood, y ur wering balc!?" Swagepaw ass.

"Bcuz...I um a EMU!"

"SCRAM" scramed swagerpoold. "U cunt be an emoo!"

"i huvv too...my mom is died. That mens i mus be an ermo." He gerled. He caw;ed swage. "I nat u!" He rained insid his done.

"Lermapoo NOOOOPPOO!" Swaggerpaw lockwd afterd his bother sad.

Latr. Swagger was sitin but his mums bod. He wase sud.

"wuts worng?" Bigpoof laked over to him.

"by mrother's an emu." He saighd.

"ugh...emos are terriblay." Bagpuf agred.

"yeh. My borth is annem\o nuw, so aim all aloon,' swagerchud dai.

bipof thou fkhr a mmn. "I hafe an idear!" He sat up suddnly.

"wat is that"

"ill be ur bruter!" He said, prood off himslep.

"\isnt tat werd," sawgr poo sawdd. 'Cus ur meh ulke."

"no its mot werd. Pol do eet al the time." Hh sherged.

"oj. Olay then." Swagerpw sugged. And eh hade a new broother.


	5. Chaper fiv: swagerpelts new bortion

**Stop bat evews!1 kys**

"wat Saul I do first wit u?" Bugpof assed.

"letsago hunting." Swaggerpiss answered. So they wnet huntng.

swgaepak cot enog thngs to fed the whore channey!

Wen they guy bake to compuet, bosatr was on the high cock. "Swaggerpaw, cum hither!" Heh said.

ok wat ks it said swagerpww

"im mackin ua waf! Ur swgager is very high!'

MOSGHO THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!" SCREAMED SWAGGERPAW

"do u promise to up;odh the ca;n?" He asled.

'i dough'

"then inna,ed u...SWAGGERPELT!" The caln chered for him! Swaggerpel had never flet hapier in hiss entir lief!1!11!

"wiat what abut llamoapo?" Swagerpollution sked hem.

"oh he cumt be a waror hes 2 emo."

"oh ok" said swagerpe,t/ and he was a war.

 **ok so i mad meh spelng a but betr for this cho sine yu guyd are dum and cunt read.**


	6. Cracker sith the gathern

**(yay i came back rEJOICE- i mean, stupid flamers!1!111!)**

Afert the crematony, Swagerpelt wet to the dan. "Heh lamepaw." He says.

"Meh narm is emupaw now. go awu u rud" lmaopaw ansered.

"Llamo mom is ded but don be sade. shes porbably in sarclan no."

"bt shes died. now we cunt ever see her agin." Lmampaw locked sadie.

"Su what" assred Swage[welt "where alife no and thas wut couch."

"oak." Llmaopale sad. "Im nut gon be an aum anymor."

"Ok gud now u can b waror." So lemerped becarm a waror. His name wass llamanecc.

"So wut no.:

"Were groin 2 da getherin" Answered Txtabrevton.

At the gathern, cuts were there. Frst wuss Blingstar, ledder of EpicClan. The epic cunts groiled at the swaggercaln cants.

Secx, was Emostar, leder of EdgeClab. eh had a fridge and was eggy.

Lastl was Sincalan. The leder wass Kinkstar. Sheh wass werd.

Then wres epicaln. Raned by yutubstar

"OMG SO MANY CUNTS" said swaggerselt shyly.

"i no rite" ansered coolsades. "but there nic."

Blingsatr wass frisk. "We r recovn form the last atack...by SWAGGERCLAN!1111111!"

GASP said everone. "thas HORBLE"

"i kno rigt!" Blangsar sais. "but wer beter no."  
" we loss a war that day. he name wus aweseomemom: said bossat angery,.

"Wel were don goode." Sade kinksatr. Her depooty was Lemonreader "We fund noo anmals to eat which is supr hot""

"oh"

then memecaln wass next "so liek were gud but i almosgut runned ovr by Uberclaw eserday." youtubesatr saide akwaiily.

Aferwrods, Swagerstart went up to a cut in epiccaln. her a=nam wus hotmess. "Heh." He said.

"wut do u wnat." She sased heem.

"Im sury for or calan ating u guys. my mum ded in that fite."  
"oh wel im sory for that." Hutmuss sader. "Wel i hop yu recvre to."

"ok"

and so eh lef whil thinkin (she wass a hpt cate. I hope i seh her gain soon.)

 **ok i fnish an NO FLAMERS DKWJEHFDBJDHFB!11`1!1! I CURT MEHSLEF BECAUSE U!**


End file.
